Oooh Contreeversial…

Having met well over 1000 singletons for a lot of tea and way too much cake, we can safely say that we have a good idea of what your average 20/30 something is looking for in their ideal other half.  I thought I’d share some of our insights, seeing as you might find them surprising – we certainly did.

Yesterday I read an article by Dawn Porter in this week’s Stylist Magazine, on the subject of female breadwinners; basically highlighting the trickiness of embracing the empowerment of women and balancing this with our more traditional, stereotypical urges.  (Fellas stay with me, I promise this will get useful).

She was driving at the fact that yes, we’re all about independent women, but that those same women love it when a man takes the lead.  Are these double standards?  Well, yeah, they kind of are.  But doesn’t that indicate that actually, we’re all guiltily gagging for a bit more balance as far as equality is concerned?

One thing I’ve learned from the zillions of interesting and accomplished people I’ve met, is that guys like girls who can sometimes be a bit girly and girls like men that can be a bit manly.  I realise that this statement doesn’t champion equality, but surely it is nice to embrace our different desires too, no?

I am yet to meet a girl who’s not looking for a man who is bigger than she is.   And in truth, I’m yet to meet a chap who isn’t looking for a woman who takes care of herself.  Believe me when I say that I was surprised by this.

Guys, I get that it’s nice for you to be able moisturise and eat a salad without feeling weird.  It must feel great to not always have to drink pints and bellow loudly when someone scores a goal.  Things may have changed for you too, but I’m telling you that basic chivalry will always get you a lot farther on the dating scene.  Women don’t want to be patronised, but they still like to be treated nicely.  Even the three of us will freely admit that it’s lovely when a Gent opens the door for us!

Also, the chief complaint we receive from the ladies is that ‘he wasn’t confident enough.’  We understand that it’s difficult, because you don’t want to come across as arrogant, but I am almost certain that every single single girl I’ve met, would respond well to you initiating an interesting topic of conversation and generally making her feel like you fancy her.

Now girls, time and time again we get feedback from our fine fellows, stating that the lady in question just didn’t flirt enough.  I think with so many young professional women striving to be taken seriously, we can run into the trap of losing our playful, flirtatious and feminine characteristics.  Trust me, these things are an asset to you when dating.   It’s okay to indulge in them a bit, in fact it might even be fun.

All feedback we get from guys includes a comment on the girl’s appearance.  This doesn’t make them shallow necessarily.  Just as you have your ‘wish list’, so they have theirs, and this is something ALL of them consider.  I’m not suggesting that you should dress up just for them – it’s nice to feel attractive, especially when you are on a date.  So don’t feel bad for making a bit of an effort, you’ll certainly get a positive reaction.

Contreevesial as these pearls of wisdom may be, I think they are something to consider.  We love equal rights as much as the next man, but we are also learning that both men and women are craving a smidge of traditionalism when it comes to dating.  Food for thought at least, eh?