Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

I am very proud of myself.  This weekend saw the tenth anniversary of the first couple that I ever set up.  Yup.  That’s right.  Ten whole years!  I’m sure you’ll all join me in wishing Ben Croft and Liza Smith huge congratulations, I hope that the next ten years (and beyond) will be equally brilliant.  Now I have a feeling that we can all learn a lot from these two and their tale, so I’m going to tell you a bit more about them.  Brace yourselves, given that this is my finest achievement as a matchmaker, it’s going to be a long one…

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Of course, the simple answer is yes. We all know couples who have done it. Perhaps the question should really be should you…? My Iranian Grandpa used to say “never go backwards, always forwards”, he learnt this the hard way losing everything he’d ever worked for and known in the Islamic Revolution of ’79. I used to think he must be right, since unlike most of his contemporaries he managed to cope with his new life, despite it being unlike anything he’d ever known in his 80 years of life until that point. This mantra must have helped him to move on. I held it almost sacred through my formative years, constantly thinking of progress as essential and that any glance to the past must have negative consequences. The attitude permeated my education, my relationships, my career choices.

Papajoon was not alone, various versions of “don’t go back” are heard far and wide. I’ve already been told this by innumerable other people whenever I’m at some life cross-roads. However, I’m beginning to wonder whether I perhaps misinterpreted my dear Grandfather’s words and that this adage doesn’t always hold water. I think in my context, he said it because he knew his life could never be as it was before, so as a source of comfort it helped to see it as a positive life-affirming journey, therefore such a maxim propelled him into his new future. However I don’t think the notion should be so readily embraced.

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